Since you twisted my virtual arm...here's the story:
To curb blackmarketing, gas, coffee, cigarettes, hard liquor are all rationed to DoD folks here in Germany. For gas, everyone with a car registered in the system is basically allowed 400 liters of gas per car per month. **sidebar: on the economy, gas is roughly €1.20 ($1.64) a liter, which comes out to roughly $6.20 a gallon. You think you pay a lot for gas????**
When I travel, I usually fill up Bruce on base, but buy a book of gas coupons in case I need them. Since I ignored the recommended speed limit of 130kph (80mph) most of the way to Heidelberg Sunday morning, after class, I needed to get gas (I forgot to ask Grayse where the station on base is located) at the gas station off base on the way to the autobahn. Armed with my book of 100 liters worth of gas coupons, I proceeded to fill up Bruce. I tried to put 30 liters in the tank, bot only 28 fit. I went inside to pay the Gas Guy:
Me: Guten Tag, I've got gas on pump zwei (2). *using my ghetto Gerglish (German + English)*
GG: Coupons or cash?
Me:Coupons. *handing him the coupons*
GG: Thank you. (as in bye)
Me: I only put in 28 liters, but gave you 30 liters in coupons.
GG: (forgetting that he speaks REAL good English): Was? (What?)
Me: I want my change. You owe me cash for zwei liters.
GG: Was? (now he really speaks no English)
Me: My mooooolah. (getting irate)
GG: You get candy bar. **instead of giving me my change, he wanted to give me one €.80 candy bar.*
Me: You owe me €2.40. I'm taking drei (3)!
GG: No, only 1! (NOW, he speaks English again!)
Me: I don't want candy! I'll take something else. *casing around the store*
Me: I'll take these, and we'll call it even. *returning to the counter with 2 cans of Red Bull*
GG: No, you can have 1. (they were €1.20 each)
Me: Was? (now I don't speak English)
GG: You speak English!
Me: OK. *walking to my car with both cans. *
He was yelling something behind me, and I'm sure it wasn't being saying 'Thank you, oh wonderful customer!' For about 10km, I was checking the rear view mirror to make sure the Polizei wasn't behind me.
**If I lost you during the dialog (as best as I can remember it), it was like going to the store, spending $28, giving the cashier $30, and the cashier saying 'thanks, have a good day', and not giving you your $2.**
Remember, you did pinky swear not to rat me out, plus I didn't tell you that it was the gas station closest to Patton Barracks in Heidelberg AND Satute of Limitations up.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
When P finds a food that she likes, she REALLY likes it and tries to eat it when she can:
P: Mommy, we need more lellow things from the commissary. (yes, it's lellow)
Me: What yellow things.
P: The ones with the white stuff in it.
Me: (totally confused) What are you talking about?
P: The things like a bus.
Me: Show me.
P: I'll get the box for you.
*She comes back with the empty box for twinkies. She LOVES twinkies. *