• The Drunk Uncle: In town for the weekend, wears the same clothes ALLLL weekend, drinks Schlitz Malt Liquor, and wants to dance with all the nieces (I once had to threaten mine to within an inch of his life if he got THAT close to my sister again).
• The Preacher Uncle: Brother to DU, and his SOLE mission for the weekend is to convert and save folks (but won't get near DU).
• The Hateful Aunt: Down right hateful~don't like no one, don't want to be there, but is there to find more dirt to hate about.
• The Man Hating Cousin: She's been scorned by the last boyfriend and won't let it go. She, too, is out to convert all the single female cousins, and turn them into Man Haters like herself.
• The Gay Uncle: Everyone but Grandma knows he is gay.
• The Family Black Sheep: Won't keep a job, won't get a job, and has borrowed money from those with a tad of sympathy for 'a brother down on his luck'.
• The Pimpologist Brother: The family playa. Of course, he brings a different 'lady friend' around every day, and is worshipped by all the teenage male cousins.
• The Mystery New Wife: Stepmother #2. No one knows where she came from, but I do know that she now shares my last name and is standing between my inheritance and me.
• The Newly Enlightened Cousin: He and his family has sworn off secular holidays. He says 'I am not celebrating Thanksgiving, I'm hungry, and this is where the food is'.

Now that I have chosen to move so far away, my sister says that there is a new 'character' to T-Day~~'Uppity Girl', a name given to me by Hateful Aunt. I guess I 'earned' this name because I realized there is more to the world than St. Louis, Missouri, and chose to live abroad. Also, I don't go home often (ever experience a 16 hour flight with a 3 year old? You wouldn't go home often, either!).

On Turkey Day, be thankful for all the 'characters' in your family, give each of them a nice big hug and tell them you love them.

Don't hang around Man Hater too long, she might convert you!!

Happy Thanksgiving To ALL!!